batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
be right there i have to get my cape
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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