Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
