No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
