how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Randomize