why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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