Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
