R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
