just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
