Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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