It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
