Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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