I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
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After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
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I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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