How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
