I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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