She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just want to make out with him forever
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
