Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize