your room smells of hookers.
And success
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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