Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
