If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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