she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
