I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
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So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
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The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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