It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
sarcasm needs its own font
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
