I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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