Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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