it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
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