Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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