Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
