i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize