And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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