pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Randomize
