Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Found your dick twin last night
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
