she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
