I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
