Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
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