Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
