I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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