In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
