I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
