i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
