its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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