By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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