i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
