Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize
