for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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