Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
