Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?