And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
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I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
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you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.