So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!