i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............