the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.