"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party