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Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
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