i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
