Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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