So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
