Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
