Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
