I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
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Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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