Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
