I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize