A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
