This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
