There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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