ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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