They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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