I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
