About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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