i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies