i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.