it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
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Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
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All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms