Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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