carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????