I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
