just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
